Bash No Love
by SamanthaMeloes
Summary: Hetalia School of Art and Design- where only the greatest students are accepted. They come from all over the world and are expected to do great in their subject. Of course, that doesn't mean they are good at anything else. AU:Parings to come
1. Chapter 1

**Bash No Love**

_Hetalia School of Arts and Design in Washington, D.C, United States of America- The highest ranking school in the world for Art and Design students!_

_At Hetalia School of Arts and Design we offer only the best education avalible. Here, student's major in not only Art and Design, but Music, Performance (Theater, Dance, Vocals, etc.) Technology, and many other subjects. Normal tuition for this school is hundreds more than average Acadamy's like it due to it's high rank, programs, and funding. _

_However, you, _Alfred F Jones_, have been given a full scholarship because of your skill and acheivment in _Technology_! If you accept this offer, you will be transferred from your current school, _San Antonio High School_, and given free transportation and housing on campus in Washington, D.C! _

_Hetalia School of Art and Design is located in a rural area outside D.C, the campus holds 5 dormatories for your conveinance and offers all other basic subject for your choice. Attending this school until your graduation offers you a broad choice of Colleges and Universities and attending the school even for only one semester gives you great chances of occupation from companies and programs. Send in your answer 2 weeks before _8-8-xx_, the oreintation date for this school year. _

_We sincearly hope you will join us for the upcoming school year this fall! _

_Principal-_

Romus Vargas

**Please note that you will have to purchase your own supplies such as necessaries (books, uniform, handbook, dormatory items, etc) and recommended supplies for your classes.**

* * *

><p>Alfred's eyes scanned the letter several times before a large grin spread across his face. "Hey Ma!" He yelled over his shoulder. "Comin' see what I got!" In the kitchen, his mother hummed as she placed down her cutting knife and wiped her hands with a rag. Her short blond hair was tied back in a messy pony tail and she walked to the dining room where Alfred sat with sluggish steps. She smiled and looked over his shoulder at the letter.<p>

"What does it say, hun? You know your Ma can't read well." She said with a tired laugh. Alfred took no notice and laid his head back to stare up at her with big blue eyes.

"I got accepted to a really fancy school in D.C! It's cuz of my 'addiction'." He said with a laugh. Alfred's parents had never understood why he loved messing with technology so much, but ever since Alfred was little he'd always been messing with game systems, computers, phones; anything that had connections to computer technology. And though she'd much rather it if he would put as much work into farming as he did reasembling his phone, it was her job as his parent to accept his choices.

His mother gasped in surprise and took the letter from her son. With every word she read the prouder she became. Her little boy was going to D.C! As bad as it was that he was going to be so far away, this was such a great oppertunity. She smiled back down at him again and kissed his nose. "Oh, sweetie, i'm so happy for you!" She said, her own violet eyes gleaming.

Alfred nodded and excitably took back the letter before running through the hall and up the stairs. "I'm going tell Kiku!" He yelled over his shoulder, bolting into his room. His mother nodded before sitting herself down on the couch and relaxing into the comfortable matirial with a sigh. Alfred F Jones- she couldn't keep up!

Alfred quickly logged onto his laptop and sat against the headbored of his bed. Placing the letter to the side, he quickly logged into New Life, a new MMORPG that he liked, and sat back while it loaded. Finally his character appeared on screen. His avatar was an elf with bright blond hair, a scrawny body, and had matching blue eyes. Alfred had joined a lot of MMORPGs in the last few years, but this one was a favorite. Unlike a lot of them, in this one he had been able to master enginerring and science, which was rare. Once he was able to move again he went to the chat box at the bottom of the screen and typed in a message.

**AlfieJonTheHero-**

KIKU! Reply!NOW!

_-sent 5:32 P.M_

After he sent the message, Alfred moved his character, who he named *, out of the shop and into the digital village of Napaj, where he had been staying since the last time he'd played. After a minute of chatting with the online girl villigers (If he couldn't get real girls why not try his luck with digital ones?) he finally got a reply. Excitably, he clicked on the alert and was quickly brought back into the P.M room on screen.

**NihonNinja66-**

What is it? Did kitsunes attack you again?

_-sent 5:36 P.M_

Alfred blushed. Kitsunes were not a favorite of his. Sure, they were very easy to defeat when it came to combat, but even if they were fox people, they shouldn't be allowed to go around the gaming world naked!

**AlfieJonTheHero-**

No! I got accepted to a really really really good school!

_-sent 5:37 P.M_

**NihonNinja66-**

Really? What kind of school?

_-sent 5:38 P.M_

**AlfieJonTheHero-**

This Art and Design Acadamy! Anyway, I just got this letter from the school in Washington, D.C, and i'm totally excited!

_-sent 5:39 P.M_

**NihonNinja66-**

You wouldn't happen to be talking about Hetalia School of Art and Design, would you?

_-sent 5:40 P.M_

**AlfieJonTheHero-**

Yeah! How did you know? :D

_-sent 5:41 P.M_

**NihonNinja66-**

I attend the same school, though it's here in Japan.

_-sent 5:42 P.M_

**AlfieJonTheHero-**

OMIGOD THATS SO COOL! I know it's the the exactly same school BUT HOLY SHIT WE SHARE AWESOMENESS!XDXDXD

_-sent 5:43 P.M_

Alfred shook in happiness. That was so cool and amazing! They could be totally smart together! Alfred couldn't be sure, but Kiku was probably there because of Technology just like him! Alfred had met Kiku when he was in 6th grade, the year he'd decided to join an AV club in school. Kiku had been there for a month because his dad moved a lot, and in that month the two had become best friends. Of course, when he moved they were both a little depressed, but before they seperated they shared emails and had quickly begain to communicate again. And then there was now. They both always joined the same games and chat rooms and always made sure to be together in them. Their own little group; it made them feel closer. At least now, Kiku was staying with his mom. It meant he could stay in one place, and also meant that Alfred could keep better tabs on his friend.

After for chatting a little longer the two met up and began to travel east until they got to Anihc, a neighboring reigon. One hour and 62 dead bears later, the two said their goodbyes and signed off, Kiku because he had to go to his part-time job ("How else do you expect me to keep buying games? Magic?") and himself because he had nothing fun to do online without Kiku online with him.

So with a sigh of resignation, Alfred picked up the letter and his laptop before getting into his bed, ready for the long night ahead. Of course, how would he be able to sleep? HE WAS GOING TO D.C!

* * *

><p>AN: OH DEAR GOD IT'S SHORT! But oh well, its the begainning any way. This story is going to be mainly humor and good times, but its gonna have plenty romance and drama too, hence the title. Yeah, anything goes here :) At the moment it's boring but once i get the story rolling, it will get better. In the meantime, review and tell me what you'd like to see in this! R &amp; R~<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Bash No Love**

**K****iku Honda**

_So? Are you at the school yet?_

**Alfred F Jones **

_Yep. It's...big O.O_

* * *

><p>Alfred stared wide eyed at the large building. He had always assumed it would be wealthy looking, but not to this degree! The grey marble floors were covered by soft red rugs, and as he walked through the wide hallways, he couldn't help but notice all of the expensive looking vases and pictures that hung on the wall. Finally, in the main room, he walked up to a counter where a long blond haired man sat, cold blue eyes narrowed at the phone in his hands. Nervously, the American tapped the hard wood. The man's head snapped up but he did not seem suprised nor sheepish. With a soft 'eh-mm', he placed down his phone and sat straight up. "Yes, how may I help you?" He said, voice thick with accent.<p>

Alfred smiled. "I'm a new student." He lightly shook his duffel bag for proof. "Could you help me out? I'm not sure where to go..." he trailed off. The blue eyed secretary nodded and opened up a light gray laptop. After a moment of typing and clicking, the German sounding man closed it up and reached under the counter, presumedly to a printer. With a grunt, the man gave Alfred a small stack of paper and a pair of keys.

"This is your school schedule, dorm number, and student handbook. The handbook will explain the oreintation to you and what your student duties are, so be sure to read it all. You only have one key but you are allowed to buy another one from me if you must. And the schedule is incomplete, on the first day you will only have one class and you will be able to fill out your complete schedule then. Questions?" He asked, and then without giving Alfred a chance to open his mouth, spoke again. "Alright then, head to your dorm, unpack, and look over the hand book. Have a good day." He said, finaltality in his tone.

Alfred gaped for a moment before shutting his mouth and nodding. Quickly, he walked out of the building and into the breezy Washington air. He had to admit, it was a nice change from Texas' warm, humid climate.

He walked along the side walk, eyes serching the area that would be his home until the end of the year with intrest. Then, he felt small vibrations coming from his pocket and took out his phone to inspect it.

**Text from Kiku Honda**

_How ironic, I had thought the same thing._

Alfred smiled again and slid the keybored from the side of the phone to text back.

**Alfred F Jones**

_Yet another awesome thing we share~ So, any tips you wanna give the new guy? FROM A DISTENCE!_

The reply was almost immediate.

**Kiku Honda**

_I'm not sure if this applies to you but...well, just try not to get killed..._

Alfred rose an eyebrow. Try not to get killed? What was th-

"Shit! You bloody git! Look what you did!" said the boy Alfred had just ran into. Alfred gasped slightly in surprise and quickly got to the ground to help pick up the fallen, and presumdly new, books.

"I'm so sorry, dude! I didn't see ya!" He said with a laugh, trying to lift the mood. It didn't work. The teen, who was about his age, glared at him with firey green eyes and swiped back the books.

"Of course you didn't," The sandy haired teen said in annoyance. "You were too busy playing on your blasted phone!" He snapped. Alfred opened his mouth to talk again but was stopped by another glare. "No! Don't you say another word, you misfit! How could you even possibly get into this school with such horrible manners? Absoloutly unexceptable!" The Brit gathered up his books and walked away, mumbling about 'stupid americans' all the while.

Alfred, on the other hand, sat stunned on the sidewalk, eyes wide. Then, as if slapped in the face, he grabbed his phone and texted Kiku back with speed only a true American could acomplish.

**Alfred F Jones**

_IM GONNA DIE HERE DX_

* * *

><p>When Alfred finally got to his dorm, he sighed in relief. It was such a long walk! Why couldn't the buildings be closer? He took out his key and twisted it in the lock, muttering a soft 'ah ha!' as it opened. The blue eyed teen smiled as he walked in. There were two beds, which meant that he would have a roommate, but they would surly get along, right? Well...as long as his roomate wasn't a grouchy British douche...<p>

The American set about unpacking his things, placing his clothes, which consisted mainly of uniforms, in his dresser and taking out the more entertaining things like his CD's, DVDs, games, and a very light mini fridge ("Check it out, Ma! A midget fridge!"). After setting up his superman logo sheets, he took out his iPod and grabbed the student handbook. Putting on the ear phones, he blasted the music on high as he skimmed the packet, singing the song to himself softly.

* * *

><p>Arthur Kirkland glared at the dorms with such hatred, it was surprising it didn't crumble to dust. London's branch of HSAD was never this crappy! Why did he have to come here of all places? He could have stayed at the Arts Acadamy in the UK! Anywhere but America would have been better, even <em>France<em>...okay, maybe not France, but anywhere else would be better!

Another minute of glaring, Arthur got tired of holding his suitcase and trudged up the stairs. "Damn Scottish asshole..." He muttered under his breath as he fumbled with his dorm key. As it clicked, he paused. It would seem that his new roommate was already there...and...was he humming?

_'Great, my roomates a Maroon 5 fanatic!' _he thought miserably.

As the teen behind the door continued to hum Arthur stood in surprise in front of the door, key still in lock. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he pushed open the door and walked in, laying his suitcase to the side before looking to see who his roommate was.

_'Okay, let's see who- OH GOD DAMMIT!'_ he thought, eye twitching ever so slightly as his gaze fell on the wheat-blond haired boy who sat on one of the beds, still singing to himself with his iPod nano in the pocket of his blue sweatshirt, one hand in his blue jean pocket and the other holding a stack of papers that Arthur reconized as the school handbook.

Arthur stood glaring for a while longer, becoming iritated for every second that passed. Was the git _ignoring_ him? Then a small 'BEEP' rang out through the room and the blond scrambled up, reaching onto the nightstand and picking up his phone before opening up the keybored to text again. Now _that _made him snap.

"Git, are you addicted to your damn phone!" He said with annoyance. Alfred's gaze went right to him then, blue eyes widening in remembrence as he yanked out his earphones and grinned sheepishly.

"Ah, well, no...well, maybe..." He said with a chuckle, waveing it off quickly before Arthur could comment. "Um, hello again?" He finished lamely.

Arthur rolled his eyes and went unpack his things. Alfred sat still, observing him while he worked. Alfred's baby blue's skimmed over Arthur's long white shirt, black sweater vest, black dress pants and dress shoes. _'Damn...he seems pretty classy...Oh wait!'_ Alfred put down his things and stood up, strolling the 4 feet to Arthur, where he was setting up his green (boring) sheets. With a grin, Alfred placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder. The green eyed teen jumped in surprise and hopped onto his bed, glaring at Alfred. "What. The. Hell." He muttered.

Alfred continued to smile and held out his hand. "I'm Alfred F Jones!" He said joyfully. Arthur looked at the hand for a moment before nodding to him and shaking it. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Arthur Kirkland." He said, no hint of sincerity in his voice. Alfred didn't seem to notice and instead held his hands behind his back, giving Arthur a curious look.

"Well, then howdy, Arthur! Say, you British?" He asked, "Sure sounds like it." He finished happily, trying to start conversation.

Arthur winced. "Yes...Your English is dreadful. " He said, cringing his nose in disgust. Alfred frowned, but it left as quickly as it came.

"So..." Alfred trailed off. Luckily for Alfred, Arthur spoke. "So, are you planning to stay here all day?" He asked. Alfred blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?" He asked. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I would rather spend as little time as possible with someone like...you." He said, spitting out the last word as if it was disgusting to even think of. Alfred frowned again but nodded. "Uh, okay. I guess I'll go explore the campus..." He muttered, grabbing his phone and ipod again before walking out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Kiku Honda<strong>

Alfred? You didn't reply to my question, is everything alright?

**Alfred F Jones**

Ah, yah man. I just met my roommate.

**Kiku Honda**

Really? How is he?

**Alfred F Jones**

...Remember the scary british guy?

**Kiku Honda**

Oh my, I believe I know what your saying...so, he is still 'scary'?

**Alfred F Jones**

TOTALLY! He kicked me out of the room! Well, not really kicked out, but he asked me to leave so I did...

Alfred sighed, staring at his phone once more before sitting down on a bench. Glancing around, he observed the high class plaza, watching as the water from the fountain drizzaled down to the bottom, shining brightly as the sun shone on it.

Alfred wasn't dumb by any means. He was just not good at thinking. So, if he thought about it, it was _his _fault that Arthur was upset with him. If _he _had thought before he acted, he would have realized that texting while you walk was a bad idea. Alfred laid back on the bench, closing his eyes in frustration. _'Ugh. Shit. Way to blow it, Jones.'_

* * *

><p>Alfred was in the middle of kicking zombie ass when he suddenly felt something pulling on him, something talking to him...<p>

His eyes slowly opened, mind still hazy from his dream, and looked up towards the now darkening sky. "Ugh," He muttered. "Did I fall asleep?" He asked, surprisingly recieving an answer.

"Um, yeah." A small voice said. Alfred quickly sat up and looked to his right. And there, in a too large red hoodie and with a little stuffed bear, was someone who looked almost _exactly _like Alfred. And aside from slight different hair and violet eyes, they _did _look exactly alike. But while the look-a-like seemingly had know problem with that, Alfred's head spun with thoughts of all of the dopplegangers, and alien copies he had read about...

"Hey, are you okay?" The fragile teen said worridly as Alfred swayed on the bench once before dropping over again, completely knocked out. The other gasped in surprise before pulling the unconsious Alfred up. "Oh maple.." he muttered. "...Crap, he fainted!"

* * *

><p>AN: Yay! Canada is here :D The next chapter is when things will really begain, i hope, since everything is kinda falling into place. So, ya'll think that Arthur is kinda an ass? He's gonna be that way for quite the while, but don't worry. The slightly less bitchy Iggy we know and love will be here soon~ And i got a question, do ya'll like the texting between Japan and America? Cuz that's an importent part to the story but i want ya'll to not be irritated ^^;<p>

I apoligize for grammer or spelling mistakes (no spell check) and i don't own Hetalia (i think i forgot to mention that last chapter xD)

I love reviews and thanks for reading ( ^ J ^ )


	3. Chapter 3

**Bash No Love**

When Alfred woke up again, he was laying on a bed, eyes still closed. He could feel the soft comforter beneth him, touching it lightly with his fingers, and he took notice of the sheet lied over him. Alfred faintly heard fierce whispering and listened close to hear.

"It's not my fault!" hissed one voice.

Another slightly louder voice snickered, almost out of breath. "Don't deny it! You son of a bitch, I knew you had it in you! Kesesesese!"

Alfred heard, and felt, something hit the carpeted floor, a grunt of frustration ringing through out the room. "Dammit Gilbert! I didn't knock him out! He saw me and-"

"He screamed? I'm not surprised~ Your pretty ghostly, kesesese!" The louder, now Gilbert, teen laughed.

Alfred thought it over for a moment and decided to save the quiet boy from his misery. Ya know, like a hero? Yeah. Alfred faked a quiet groan and flicked open his eyes, earning the attention of the quiet boy. Now able to see him better, he realized it was the same 'clone' he had seen earlier. And that he was really hard to see.

"Oh good, your awake!" The fragile looking teen said with relief. Alfred nodded and smiled at him. "Yeah. Sorry for fainting on ya." He said sheepishly. The other smiled.

"It's alright, I probably shouldn't have been so rude." He said. Alfred blinked, blue eyes staring on with confusion.

"Ya weren't rude. You were just trying to wake me up, that's all. And the reason I fainted isn't your fault either. Dude, I would have fainted no matter what!" He said with a laugh. "Um, my name's Alfred, by the way." He finished, holding out his hand.

The other took his hand and shook it with a smile, not as big as Alfred's maybe, but a smile nontheless. "It's nice to meet you. My name is Matthew Williams."

Alfred felt happy that Matthew wasn't like Arthur. It was bad enough being shunned by his roommate, getting canned by his clone, though? Not awesome. _'Maybe,'_ Alfred thought with a snicker, _'it's a British thing.'_

"Hey!" Gilbert called from his new spot on the floor. "Don't you want to know my name! I'm the one that had to help carry your sorry ass up here! And trust me, that was NOT awesome." Alfred looked at the white hair and red eyes with surprise. "Holy crap your albino!" He yelled in shock.(1)

Gilbert snorted. "No shit sherlock! Come on! I'm so awesome, don't ya wanna know me?" He whined. Matthew glared at him and gave Alfred a begging look. "Please just ask him so he'll shutup." He whispered.

"Uh, yeah." Alfred said, looking at Gilbert apoligeticly. "What's your name-"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt! The most awesomest guy you'll ever meet! Your welcome~" He announced, standing up to casually throw an arm over Matthew's shoulder, which was quickly shoved off. Alfred smiled and nodded. "Okiee Dokiee. Well, i should get going, it was nice-" Alfred froze, hand feeling his pocket. His empty pocket.

Matthew looked at him worridly. "What's wrong?" He asked. Alfred ignored him and turned around on the bed, searching through the blankets and throwing off the pillows in his search. Finally, Matthew repeated his question, this time loud enough to hear.

Alfred looked like he was about to have a heartattack. "I CAN'T FIND MY SHIT!" He yelled. Matthew finched but Gilbert just laughed again.

"Kesese, what shit!" Gilbert laughed. Meanwhile, Matthew sat with Alfred and patted his shoulder nervously in an attepmt to comfort. The quiet boy smiled. "Yeah, what is...shit? I-I mean, what do you mean by...that?" He asked, uncomfortable with the conversation already. Alfred groaned.

"Shit equals my phone, ipod, and dorm keys. Fuck. I'm screwed!" He continued to ramble on for a while, shouting something about psycho killers, aliens, and british zombies...

"U-um, Alfred?" Matthew asked. Immediatly, and surprisingly, Alfred stopped talking and looked to Matthew curiously. "Wha?" He asked dazedly. Matthew opened his mouth to speak again but Gilbert beat him to it.

"Screw the technology! Germoni gonna kill you! KESESESESESE!" Gilbert cackled. Alfred found himself hating that laugh _so_ much.

"Who's Ger-wasit?" He asked. Gilbert gave him a smirk. "The dead German guy who gave you the keys!" He said. Alfred stared. "What?" he asked.

Matthew pushed Gilbert aside and answered him. "Germoni is the secretary who gave you the keys. He gets really pissed easily so..." He trailed off. "But," Matthew said with a reassuring smile. "you could always just get your roommate to let you in and borro-"

"NEVER! ARE YOU CRAZY!" He yelled. He was gonna die. That was it. Just. Die.

* * *

><p>AN: Ugh, sorry it's so short. I have major plots in my head right now; gotta write 'em ;) That, and I have school -.- Well, so far we have Arthur, Matthew, Canada, Germainia, and Rome. YAZA~! But hey, wanna know something sad? I fail at humor that isn't parody. So i'm struggling with this! Maybe i should write a quick parody, just to prove it...we shall see~ I'm sorry for the mistakes, no spell check, and i don't own Hetalia.<p>

1) Oh come on! That's how a normal American would act! I did! I know a girl who is albino. THATS HOW I REACTED!xD


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